lots to talk about, but it probably won’t be a long blog entry.

why i love my friends: because we can talk about absolute shit. today we were talking about why fanny farts don’t smell, and why you would even smell them anyway. we talk about absolute anything and we laugh alot. all in all it’s great. i was drinking water and matty said something about if you were near a fanny fart you’d have no eyebrows left. suddenly the water was coming out my nose. i laughed and laughed, and had lots of water dribbling out of my nose. i’d never done that before! amazing!

henrietta upset me last night. don’t want to go into it really. but everything’s clear.

are you a hot blogger? whilst browsing the blogosphere i’ve noticed there are three different categories bloggers come under: old/uninteresting people talking about uninteresting subjects, ugly bloggers and hot bloggers. by hot i mean attractive (sorry to be so american). this came about when i read an article about wanting to be gorgeous, or people telling you that you are. everyone loves it. but the person who was writing this was really attractive, i don’t get it. if one person out there who is a stranger comments on your looks in a positive way, take the hint! then i am a giant hypocrite, because i hate everything about the way i look.

is wordpress the new myspace? well, no, not really. but sometimes it is. i mean, look on the dashboard. they have all those “recently posted” articles, which are sort of like bulletins. only ten times better. i think i had a point with this but i forgot about it. oh yeah, blogging is better then myspace. with blogs you can get all your whimsical shit out on the net without being called “emo”. also, comments are so much more in depth. basically, it’s better or something. i don’t know, i’m quite confused.

why do i blog? well, i believe that everyone has a story, and that it should be read by someone out there. god knows if you agree with this, but it’s my opinion. this is my story really, and you reading it? HA! i got you!

oh, guitar hero 3 has finally been announced. track list is up and everything.

The game’s initial list of songs include:
* Paint It Black (by The Rolling Stones)
* Cherub Rock (by Smashing Pumpkins)
* Sabotage (by Beastie Boys)
* The Metal (by Tenacious D)
* My Name is Jonas (by Weezer)
* Knights of Cydonia (by Muse)
* Rock And Roll All Nite (as made famous by Kiss)
* School’s Out (as made famous by Alice Cooper)
* Slow Ride (as made famous by Fog Hat)
* Cult of Personality (by Living Colour)
* Barracuda (as made famous by Heart)

sounds good.

ok, so this is about james’s friend james and his friend. if you’re still with me you’re going to love this…

so two of his friends were doing mushrooms at a park somewhere. where, who cares, but they were doing it. only james 2 got bored so he went home and sobered up, leaving his friend in the park, tripping. lovely. after a while, when he was sober, he decided to pay his friend a visit to make sure he was okay. so at his friends house, his friend was still very much under the effects. he was wielding a knife and screaming “i’ve locked a goblin in the wardrobe! i’ve caught a goblin! i’m gonna kill it! i’m gonna kill it!”. james tried to calm his friend down, and looked in the wardrobe. there, in the wardrobe, was a small child with (apparent) downs syndrome. panicking, they decided to take it back to the park where his friend had apparently kidnapped it and locked it in the wardrobe.

if you’ve ever needed a reason not to do drugs, i think this qualifies as a good one.

so lately i’ve been forced to endure lots of wrestling. TNA, WWE, WCW etc. i used to watch it when i was like 7, when i was a small boy and these hulks were my rolemodels. awful eh? back then you sort of knew it was fake but couldn’t tell, and didn’t want to believe it anyway. but now… it’s actually horrible. i can’t stand wrestling anymore, and i’ve realised just how HOMOSEXUAL it is. i mean, it’s a bunch of guys in trunks grappling each other and throwing each other about. and some of the moves just enforce this motive.

i mean…

fancy a bum anyone?

so nbc confirmed (last week) that scrubs is staying for another season. personally i couldn’t be happier, i love scrubs to bits, it is definitely one of the best tv programs around.

wow, interesting day (and an interesting title, i’m in an odd mood).

i am still ill and there seems to be no signs of improvement, though my headaches have stopped. which is good.

yesterday was rather interesting. after i got back, we went out and basically acted like immature idiots. running around, knocking on peoples doors then driving off. fact is, i was with a group of 20 year olds. “mature” adults running around. excellent.

got home, phoned hen for like 10 minutes (she was worn out after her first day as a vet bless her) then fell asleep. had the strangest dream AGAIN. you know, i think there’s a connection with being ill and strange dreams. i will look into that. but this one was about a gang of asylum seekers going into peoples houses and stealing illegal immigrants and selling them. when i tried to stop them they were like invincible, no matter how many times i knocked them out cold. their license plate was “SUM M0NER” which was strange since all license plates in England have maximum of 7 figures. hmm.

for lunch i had a fudge doughnut and a bottle of pepsi. i’m so hungry.

SPIDER HENTAI GIRL

about 5 views from this.

BREASTS MILK VEGAN DIET HEALTHY SEXY SEX XXX NUDE CELEBS BRITNEY PARIS HILTON TOPLESS HOT GOTH MYSPACE

hahaha, investigation week two, check the page for this weeks update.

so this weekend smudges parents went away. you know what that means? we have DUNNY AND HELEN ROUND.

friday morning we bought lots of beer and other alcohol.

ok, so friday jen and peter (friends from sunderland) came to stay. we picked them up from the train station, then went to smudges house. however, we were all really hungry from the walk home, so we went for a pizza. we ended up getting a parmesan and donner kebabs too. on the way back dunny and helen showed up! what a suprise! we had a nice laugh, bit of a drink but not much really. me and jen spent alot of time upstairs talking about GREAT bands and stuff. then we all went downstairs and played lots of guitar hero and listened to music whilst drinking, it was pretty great. however, dunny and helen didn’t stay long really, and i phoned henrietta up but she fell asleep. nice quiet night before the main party.

saturday we all recovered (peter had drank a bit much and was sick in the night, and we all had headaches) and we tidied up a bit, but ste came round! however, he also brought GARY. now, noone likes gary, but he came round to try and get his stuff back. we completely ignored him. so ste was here too, then dunny and helen came as well as helm, another friend from newcastle. excellent! we had a barbeque. only helen didn’t have a clue what to do, so she burnt alot of the food. never mind, peter was an amazing barbeque chef. we played FOOTBALL with soft balls, and dunny and ste broke the greenhouse by barging into it. never mind, we blamed it on kids, and maureen (who owns it) believed us. we played more football and drank more, and ste eventually left us to go to dirty silks (nightclub). i got kneed in the arse by dunny, and couldn’t sit for a while. we ended up going back to the shop and me and jen and helen basically spent the night together talking about shit and drinking. turns out helen was a lesbian and jen got bummed on a beach! (haha, love you both really). helen pranked alot of people too (if you got phoned up that night, it was us sorry) and also bummed smudge with a banana. we pranked henrietta and she went along with it bless her, but didn’t realise it was us. later i had to comfort jen as she was all upset bless her! she’s alright now though.

sunday was in fact the day of rest. we all had drank a bit much, so we were all recovering and stuff. helen made us all chicken sandwiches (which were amazing) and eventually everyone left. we cleaned up then i phoned hen. quite a nice weekend if you ask me.

so this post is about how amazing my weekend was. really.

i had booked my tickets earlier in the week, and had them all in hand, and everything ready. at midnight i phoned hen up, both of us were shakey as hell since we’re finally meeting! i decided not to sleep since i probably wouldn’t get up in time for my coach, so with the help of hen’s friend gabbie, we talked most the night and she helped keep me awake. getting ready was awful, because i was so unbelievably tired.

i left my house at like half 5 to make sure i was on time. on the way i phoned hen again, and she kept me company until my train came at half 6. i bought some crisps and some water for the trip. getting on the train to middlesbrough, i nearly fell asleep, but i got lost finding the bus station. eventually i found it, but i double checked by phoning up my grandma to make sure i was at the right one. all jittery, i finally got on my coach at 7:45am to birmingham.

i was joined by some scenes and chavs, but all in all it was quite a nice journey. i tried to hard to sleep, but i kept hitting my head off the window so i couldn’t get any. the scenes gave me a chewitt, which was nice of them.

so eventually, after 4 and a half hours, we made it into birmingham! i was so lost. i rang dom (who i was staying with) to find out how to get to the train station, which was hilarious trying to find. i followed all the signs to new street station, but ended up getting a bit lost. finally, at the pallasades, i bought a ticket (after getting lost AGAIN and not knowing where to buy them), i phoned hen and told her i was on my way. everything is so different in birmingham, it really is. the trains have SKY NEWS in them and they’re ran like trams. i was shitting myself throughout the journey, as i didn’t know when to get off!

i finally made it to lichfield city station, and this was it. hen lived like 10 minutes away. i phoned her up and followed her instructions how to get to her house. it was a really hot day, and i was in a jacket. not the best situation to meet my girlfriend in! walked up the road, and finally found her house. her friend gabbie let me in (which was strange, since it was the first time meeting her too), but i finally met hen! she gave me a cuddle because she couldn’t look at me. i was really shy, and she was talking to gabbie alot, sort of forgetting i was there :( but gabbie soon left and we were fine, like a normal couple. then we had some fun, but i can’t write that on here ;D. it was amazing and hilarious at the same time!

we eventually got to birmingham and had a look around the shops, and had a really nice time. after we went to mcdonalds for something to eat, then dom rang me and i met dom for the first time too! haha, i even stayed at his house. turns out he’d been walking around birmingham for two hours looking for me. sorry dom!

after mcdonalds we took hen to meet her friends in lichfield. when it was time to go, i really didn’t want to leave her, and neither did she. after a long time and lots of complaining by dom, i finally took off to dominic’s. i bought him some cigarettes for being so awful to him, and at doms house we had a really nice time.

the next day, i went back to lichfield, only hen wasn’t ready so i had to walk around lichfield town for an hour or so. i got really lost and THEN i had to find my way to hen’s friend’s house. she was late getting ready too. and on top of that she was horrible to me because my hair was a bit greasy, it really upset me :( but we had a nice day, and took some pictures which i’ll upload later. we found where the coach station was and sat down and talked about my next visit. then i had to leave, and that was upsetting. but yeah, lots of stuff happened but i can’t really write about it. i had an amazing time, and can’t wait to do it again!

so car theft has reduced alot, but PEOPLE ARE PAYING MORE CAR INSURANCE.

that is actually ridiculous.

he’s that guy who’s judging GREASE IS THE WORD/stupid pointless music competition #4834. not only does he look like a fucking alien, he’s just a horrible horrible… well, i just hate him.

that advert he does, the one advertising “THIS IS DAVID GEST”, is the most annoying thing i’ve seen in a long long time.

might as well get it all out…

why is it that emmerdale have such AWFUL actors? i mean, i can forgive hollyoaks since they were hired on looks (even though the accents are annoying), but emmerdale is shit. it’s boring (come on, it’s in FARMLAND for christ sake). i mean, don’t get me wrong, i hate soaps as much as the next bloke, but emmerdale is right there at the bottom of the pile. why do i watch it? well it’s on when i’m on the pc. background noise, sometimes i pick up on it. something like that.

gah, i hate tv. that public information film was made about shows just like it.