i hate college when it gets like this. seriously, they’ve practically let us be all laid back and shit throughout the year, now they’ve piled EVERYTHING on us. we have so much work to do. and like 2 weeks to do it.

i’m practically spent up again. i keep delaying my trip to birmingham again every week, since i spend it on my phone to talk to hen. it’s getting ridiculous, as i’m putting like £30 a week on my phone alone. need to stop it! not that i don’t love talking to her, but i’d much rather see her then talk to her on the phone. she’s also a bit down at the moment, which is rather bad for me! i don’t care though, i’ll put up with it.

had some interesting conversations today. mainly about the male prostate gland. matty seems to believe that tickling it will make the male spaff instantly. i don’t believe this but it would be hilarious. considering it’s in the arse, it makes sense why gay sex is popular, since otherwise it would be ouch. though girls don’t have one, so why do they enjoy it? hmm. ah well.

i’m going to make an attempt to find NEW PEOPLE on the internet to talk to, so if you have MSN, hit me up. iamnothomo@gmail.com is mine. i only use MSN for now though, but if you have myspace too add me on that, i’d be happy to talk. http://www.myspace.com/dickoxcore is my profile. with a lovely picture :). smashing.

i realise that i don’t actually talk about anything interesting in my blog, sorry!

ok, so this is about james’s friend james and his friend. if you’re still with me you’re going to love this…

so two of his friends were doing mushrooms at a park somewhere. where, who cares, but they were doing it. only james 2 got bored so he went home and sobered up, leaving his friend in the park, tripping. lovely. after a while, when he was sober, he decided to pay his friend a visit to make sure he was okay. so at his friends house, his friend was still very much under the effects. he was wielding a knife and screaming “i’ve locked a goblin in the wardrobe! i’ve caught a goblin! i’m gonna kill it! i’m gonna kill it!”. james tried to calm his friend down, and looked in the wardrobe. there, in the wardrobe, was a small child with (apparent) downs syndrome. panicking, they decided to take it back to the park where his friend had apparently kidnapped it and locked it in the wardrobe.

if you’ve ever needed a reason not to do drugs, i think this qualifies as a good one.

this is true, but i’ll come to that later.

this weekend was spent at home on the phone. to my darling wife. and she’s very hormonal. god, i hope i didn’t make her pregnant. this is plaguing me so badly, i really REALLY hope i didn’t make her pregnant. i have no idea what we would do if she was.

i went to kelvins on saturday, which was great. we went to tesco and got id’d (both of us) for a 15 rated movie. jet li’s fearless. i thought it was ridiculous, and it was also hilarious because it was james’s ex-girlfriend who id’d us. apparently she was always like that.

we bought chinese food and then went to kelvins. which was quite fun.

 [REMOVED]

such a post-rock title.

well, lots to discuss in here.

firstly, let’s talk about HEN, my lovely wife. she’s currently doing work experience as a vet! she’s having fun, but it’s hard work apparently. and she’s not getting paid for it. she gives animals jabs and stuff, even goes as far as holding them down whilst the vets operate on them. she can’t get online or anything whilst she’s there though, and i miss her :(. however she has a problem which i won’t discuss…

next, jerry falwell died yesterday. you know, the guy who tried to blame 9/11 on HOMOSEXUALS and FEMINISTS. i’m pretty glad he’s dead.

i am recovering! i feel better then i have in days, still not 100% though and very hungry. hen has looked after me though bless her. last night i stay awake because of extreme paranoia (i kept hearing noises and i thought they were spiders). that’s how bad my arachnophobia is, i’m just glad we can’t get camel spiders in this country, or i would probably kill myself :( right now we have a shitload of work to do but we can’t do it, it’s simply impossible really. though we have NOW GOT a title screen (though james wouldn’t let me put dark tranquility on the title screen, so we stuck with porcupine tree - trains).

finally got kurt vonnegut’s “cat’s cradle”. only read 50 pages, but so far it’s pretty good.

wow, interesting day (and an interesting title, i’m in an odd mood).

i am still ill and there seems to be no signs of improvement, though my headaches have stopped. which is good.

yesterday was rather interesting. after i got back, we went out and basically acted like immature idiots. running around, knocking on peoples doors then driving off. fact is, i was with a group of 20 year olds. “mature” adults running around. excellent.

got home, phoned hen for like 10 minutes (she was worn out after her first day as a vet bless her) then fell asleep. had the strangest dream AGAIN. you know, i think there’s a connection with being ill and strange dreams. i will look into that. but this one was about a gang of asylum seekers going into peoples houses and stealing illegal immigrants and selling them. when i tried to stop them they were like invincible, no matter how many times i knocked them out cold. their license plate was “SUM M0NER” which was strange since all license plates in England have maximum of 7 figures. hmm.

for lunch i had a fudge doughnut and a bottle of pepsi. i’m so hungry.

yet another appropriate title for a blog post.

this weekend was spent dying! i am really not well, and now i am in college being ill.

seriously, nothing happened this weekend. i spent it dying in bed and talking to hen whenever i could. which i couldn’t really.

she’s on work experience this week, so i’ll barely be able to talk to her. ah well, i hope her week goes ok!

and today i miss out on 65daysofstatic. which is shit. i really wanted to go but money problems prevent me from going. shit.

so this weekend smudges parents went away. you know what that means? we have DUNNY AND HELEN ROUND.

friday morning we bought lots of beer and other alcohol.

ok, so friday jen and peter (friends from sunderland) came to stay. we picked them up from the train station, then went to smudges house. however, we were all really hungry from the walk home, so we went for a pizza. we ended up getting a parmesan and donner kebabs too. on the way back dunny and helen showed up! what a suprise! we had a nice laugh, bit of a drink but not much really. me and jen spent alot of time upstairs talking about GREAT bands and stuff. then we all went downstairs and played lots of guitar hero and listened to music whilst drinking, it was pretty great. however, dunny and helen didn’t stay long really, and i phoned henrietta up but she fell asleep. nice quiet night before the main party.

saturday we all recovered (peter had drank a bit much and was sick in the night, and we all had headaches) and we tidied up a bit, but ste came round! however, he also brought GARY. now, noone likes gary, but he came round to try and get his stuff back. we completely ignored him. so ste was here too, then dunny and helen came as well as helm, another friend from newcastle. excellent! we had a barbeque. only helen didn’t have a clue what to do, so she burnt alot of the food. never mind, peter was an amazing barbeque chef. we played FOOTBALL with soft balls, and dunny and ste broke the greenhouse by barging into it. never mind, we blamed it on kids, and maureen (who owns it) believed us. we played more football and drank more, and ste eventually left us to go to dirty silks (nightclub). i got kneed in the arse by dunny, and couldn’t sit for a while. we ended up going back to the shop and me and jen and helen basically spent the night together talking about shit and drinking. turns out helen was a lesbian and jen got bummed on a beach! (haha, love you both really). helen pranked alot of people too (if you got phoned up that night, it was us sorry) and also bummed smudge with a banana. we pranked henrietta and she went along with it bless her, but didn’t realise it was us. later i had to comfort jen as she was all upset bless her! she’s alright now though.

sunday was in fact the day of rest. we all had drank a bit much, so we were all recovering and stuff. helen made us all chicken sandwiches (which were amazing) and eventually everyone left. we cleaned up then i phoned hen. quite a nice weekend if you ask me.

apparently some girl typed out ON HER MOBILE PHONE “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” in 15 seconds. she won $25,000. she sends about 8,000 texts a month. oh, did i mention she’s 13?

full story here