this is me.

Okay, this is essentially stolen from my friend who made this topic on a forum, but basically i met up with some internet friends and we partied in what is known as a “britmeat”. yeah, here it is for your viewing pleasure (it’s HUGE). kudos to richard for making this.

On the 20th of July, the ~~technically~~ third Britmeet was set to go underway. From across the land of the Brits, six of the bravest and most valiant britons travelled to London, Victoria to shoot each other, drink huge amounts and eat crackers and cheese. We were indeed hardcore.The meet was hosted by Sarevok, who has been to all three Britmeets alongside Esh. Taking part for the first time were Absynthe, Dicko, Dom and Rayne, who is actually American so he is our third crazy foreigner (Lars and Tigress were the previous two).This topic is going to be of usual standard, so expect it to be long and full of photo evidence!

Day One
So the journey started, hoping to be travelling in something drier unlike the last meet, I set off into Cardiff Central and caught my coach to London. For the first time, I wasn’t the only crazy one travelling across the country, with Dicko travelling from up north and Dom all the way from Birmingham, the city of dirty miners.

But of course, we wouldn’t be able to have an easy trip to a GW Meet. That would be stupid.

In the recent month, some of you may know that the UK had been hit by serious flooding all around the country, destroying houses and trapping people everywhere. Obviously, that didn’t seem that it would be a problem for us. We were wrong.

We had to be travelling the day that London turned into travel chaos.

The motorways were flooded, stations were closed and everyone travelling long distances were delayed.

By the time we were meant to be meeting, I was still an hour away. Stuck in standstill traffic coming into London, now in searing heat. Noone knew where Dom was and if he was still alive. But the meet had to go on, Dicko had somehow managed to turn up almost on time, and Sarevok, Rayne and Absynthe had made the journey to London Victoria.

With Esh and Dom stuck somewhere on the motorways, they did some exploring, eventually discovering the local GAME store.

Sarevok discovered Metal Slugs for the Wii, he couldn’t hold his excitement and bought it.

Absynthe and Rayne armed with sleeping bags. Clearly not as excited as Sarevok.

Then became the tour of London, with some truly traditional britmeet photographing.

Rayne posing in the now renamed ‘The Lars Phonebox’, while the ghostly image of Sarevok stares on. (This is now a must for GW Meets, and the designated crazy foreigner gets to pose inside a phonebox. I can’t remember why.)

Then came the traditional photo infront of Buckingham Palace. Just with less people.

Guys, this is Dicko. He was very tall. Probably scouting out for young girls or children.

Sarevok is deep in thought. Probably trying to remember who he’d forgotten to call.

Dicko took this photo of two young girls. (He likes young girls). They’d been to the Dungeon, which suprisingly isn’t an S&M store, it’s an actual dungeon.

Sarevok on the phone. Probably getting moaned at by Esh.

In the time that everyone had been enjoying Buckingham Palace, Esh had arrived and been waiting.

Esh, tired, probably mid-complain here.

Now with Esh, the crew went to get some food. We had finally got in contact with Dom, who was running four hours late. Esh suddenly stopped complaining so much.

We had decided to hit up the local KFC inside Victoria Station and had started settling down. We then started calling random people.

This is Esh talking to Kaworu. The conversation went around a few people and mostly involved Kaworu complaining about the new Transformers movie. At this point, Kaworu thought I was Sarevok and everything was strange so I pretended that the phone was breaking up. :<

After a few hours of strange conversations and general ice-breaking, it was time for Dom to finally reach London, so we set off to meet him.

But first Sarevok wanted to demonstate his incredible electric powers.

We finally met Dom, and began to head back to Sarevok’s house. We had some problems, since the flooding was causing traffic chaos, Victoria was closed, so we had to grab two taxis to Charing Cross, where we finally got a train back to a mysterious and undisclosed location.

Dicko couldn’t resist another photo opportunity, so here is Dom on the train.

Rayne and Absynthe. Rayne with his psychotic stare Ninja

We got off the train and then started to walk back to Sarevok’s house. It turned out Dicko has a massive fear of heights, and can’t even go anywhere near bridges or edges (We found this out earlier after Sarevok pushed him towards a see-through barrier in KFC, for him to crawl into a ball on the floor infront of the restaurant. While everyone else just gave us dirty looks.) So, because of this we had to walk the long way round.

But we finally made it and here is Absynthe posing with Absynthe.

Sarevok. Using those electric powers again.

The night was mostly made up of watching Sarevok and <enter random person> play Metal Slug, drinking or talking on IRC.

Dicko, talking to his girlfriend. This happened through 65% of the actual meet.

Me, with great hat hair and probably on IRC.

While on the phone to his girlfriend, we stole the phone and each took it in turns to talk to her.

Sarevok was slightly too happy about getting the chance to speak to her.

Me laughing, Rayne trying to use his american charm with Dicko’s girlfriend.
Dicko, assaulting Dom with the camera, before turning it on himself. Poor guy. :(

I got my chance to talk to Dicko’s girlfriend, while Rayne did some kung fu.

You can see both of my hands. This is not what it looks like.

We finally decided to head to bed late in the night ready for paintball the next day.

Dicko was slightly more ready than anyone else. And not for paintball.

Day Two
The first half of the day wasn’t photographed, so here comes the meaty write-up. We were woken up too early in the morning, to go and get shot alot. It was indeed paintballing time. After getting dressed (I was sure to wear two layers) and generally getting ready, we headed off to do some paintballing.

We arrived and were given our incredibly sexy uniform and protective gear. Joining us for this crazy mission were Dave, Sarevok’s brother and a friend of Sarevok’s, Austin. We were placed into teams with a large group of other people. Among others, the teams panned out like this:

Red
Austin
Dom
Esh
Rayne

Blue
Absynthe
Dicko
Sarevok
Dave(?)

And after quite a long wait, the battle began. It started with Capture the Flag. Rayne and I had vowed to stay with each other on this one, and give each other some cover. The game started and we moved with the team. Then we stopped. Waited. There were bullets flying everywhere but nothing was really happening. The whistle blew and it was game over.

We had lost. The entire team just went on the right passage and sat there, while the Blue team came in from the left, took the flag and had left. Things wern’t looking good.

The next few games we had won, but because of the incident in the first round, no matter what we would do, we were behind. It took me three or four shots before getting shot. I was being defensive (also known as hiding at the back) so I hadn’t been shot much, but I got hit by a beast of a headshot.

After each round, we’d all come back and talk about what just happened. For Sarevok and Austin, oh, it was shot after shot, pure winning. Well, apart from the fact the Blue team kept KOing Sarevok before we could. Dom had an amazing ability to attract headshots, he would come back from the round and be covered in paint. I personally had a few kills, one long range curling shot to the tower many feet in the distance was enough for me. I was satisfied, but the pain went on. And boy, did I know about it.

In the match straight after lunch, we went into battle. The Red team were situated downhill, so we had fire coming in from every direction. But the problem was that we had no cover, these really thin bushes would let paintballs past through them so we had to stay hidden the entire time. The clock ticked on, and the Blues slowly approached our base. Rayne, who was right next to me was taken out and left me. It was okay though, I had a few other people to cover me, right?

By the time I was at that thought, the blues slowly crept into our base. Turning quietly and aiming slowly at them, me and the guy next to me waited for the right time to shoot, but they saw us. A huge firefight started and the paintballs started hitting me. I desperately tried to get out of the way, wriggling my way behind the tree, but as soon as I was there, the blues had secured the position on the other side, so I was being ripped apart from both sides. I was out, but I couldn’t get up because they were firing so much. The guy afterwards joked about shooting me as I wriggled away. It was so painful.

By the last two games, it was close, but we were losing. These would decide the match. And since it was the last two matches, we were given even more people, and the matches were now 20 minutes long. There was a long list of abjectives to do, like firing rocket launchers, blowing up cars, finding pistols, and so on. We had to attack first and get alot of points, and then defend well.

The final showdown took place, and we won. By five points or so. Victory was ours.

And so the drinking began! (and Wii and other things not as exciting)

This is Austin and Sarevok ..suprisingly playing Metal Slug. This happened probably more times than Dicko ringing his girlfriend.

I don’t actually have a giant erection here. I p-promise?

The Absynthe drinking started pretty early on. What you see in the picture is the makings of the Absynthe Slammer. Yes, that cheese cracker too. :(

Absynthe drinking cider.

Late into the evening and many drinks later, the Wii was in major use.

This was probably taken during a vicious duel in the Wii Laser Hockey tournament. (Absynthe is wasted).

We rang Lars. He cost us £40 in credit. He wasn’t even that good at phonesex.

We drank huge amounts (note: Sarevok downed a glass of vodka. straight), played a card game called Chairman Mao, which if you’ve ever played before, you’ll know it’s an evil game, especially after drinking too much. Dicko didn’t do too well at it. Poor guy.

By early morning…

(Wasted).

Day Three
Well I was personally lying on that couch waiting for the Bernard Hopkins v Winky Wright fight on television, so I woke up confused and annoyed. It was still early morning, so I left Dicko asleep on the other couch and headed for the tent where everyone else was. Or ..mostly everyone. Sarevok was missing. The sun was shining and so the tent became a greenhouse. Everyone eventually piled out of the tent and went into the house.

And thus began the Mario Party 8. What better way to start the morning after a day of drinking than to have your eyes burned with stupidly cute graphics.

Battling not only for the most stars, but for worst hair.

Meanwhile, while everyone was playing Mario Party 8 and getting stars (apart from me), Dicko decided to give you a step by step guide on how to make the perfect cheese cracker. Because he loves eating crackers & cheese.

Meanwhile, Sarevok had appeared. It had turned out that downing a glass of vodka hadn’t gone to plan. He’d woken up in his bed in his own vomit. Thank god he wasn’t in the tent.

The leftovers from the first two nights.

And so, after Dom beat Absynthe, Rayne and I horribly (well, horribly for me at least), and as soon as Sarevok was back to his normal self, it began.

The longest game of Monopoly I have ever played. It was mind-numbingly long. We had started at 1 in the afternoon, and finally ended at 9 at night.

(>”)>™ says:
we started about
(>”)>™ says:
1pm
(>”)>™ says:
i think
(>”)>™ says:
and finished around
(>”)>™ says:
9pm
Mr Hibbert says:
are you saying it was 8 hours long
(>”)>™ says:
yes
Mr Hibbert says:
I’m going to say 6
(>”)>™ says:
no
(>”)>™ says:
it was 8 hours long
(>”)>™ says:
that is definite
Mr Hibbert says:
how can i trust you
(>”)>™ says:
ask dom

Rayne did the right thing and quit only a few hours into the match, to go play Sarevok’s DS (product placement), but for the rest of us, we were stuck in a horrible situation. Although Dom controlled the most property and was clearly winning, none of us were losing. Well, apart from Dicko, but it seems he lost at everything over the Britmeet. We had dinner while playing Monopoly. We drank while playing Monopoly. Sarevok spilt everything over Monopoly.

It was a horrible game. I’ve gone off Monopoly for a long time now. But still, it had it’s moments.

I found a part of the pepper, and thought it looked like goatse. So here ..it is.

By the end of the match, Absynthe and I had had enough, and gave all of our property and money to him to fend off Dom, and thus Sarevok eventually won. A win for all the good in this world.

It was getting dark. Thus began.. Poker.

I got out the aviator shades to protect my poker face. But it wasn’t enough, people could still see my eyes..

Fixed.

Dicko caught onto the idea.

The game went on for a while, I was the first to leave the table after going all in, (I hate Poker), Sarevok eventually ran out of monopoly money (because it’s cool to play with monopoly money, okay) and Dicko went to ring his girlfriend for an hour or two. How unusual.